The answers for the book of life are often mysterious.. seldom easily found,
and often not what most people agree them to be.  When we look all around us,
the answers shine at us with astounding brilliance.  Yet due to our own
darkhearted souls, we rarely catch sight of their truest light.  This is a
story of two men.. one, dashing and debonaire.. one, deformed and slighted.
Oh we all know the story already, so why bother telling it again.  The first
grows up with wealth, affection, and everything his heart desires.  The
second, maybe gets an assitant's job in a shabby store in the lower edge of
town.  But which is the better?

What a lot of us know, but so few of us act to make right, is the reflection
that our physical appearance makes upon our livelihood.  If you are born an
attractive girl in the right surroundings, you might be labelled a princess
by the time you're 4... winning pageant after pageant.. till your room is
filled with ribbons.  Or maybe you get a genetic boost from your parents, or
some mutational shift, and you end up a prodigy in the arts or sciences.. and
you go on to make monumental contributions to humanity.

But what is really the deepest truth of the matter?  Is intelligence or
good looks the answer to all your problems?  Will plastic surgery solve all
your troubles when it comes to finding a man?  Will losing a few inches
around your waist call Romeo out of hiding?

I have struggled deeply.. time and again.. with the age-old fallacy.. that
the clothes make the man.. or the woman.  The notion that we are who we are
seen as on the outside is one that ought to have been burned at the same time
Sodom and Gamorrah became Ashes and Dust.  But we hold onto it.. with more
passion than ever before.

So why is this?  Why do we bother to hold onto something as shallow as how
someone's appearance affects us?


Take a moment.. just look around you.  Look at what you view to be
"beautiful" -- what you view to be truly "spectacular".  You might be
surprised to note just how much of what you find beautiful has to do with
what you see.. and little else.  Oh, truthfully, we do sometimes go deeper than
what we see on the outside.. but to a very small extent.  Usually, instead,
we choose to value something by how pleasant it is to gaze upon.


Now in certain cases.. this is less true.  But for the most part.. this idea
pervades our entire lifestyle.  We hold on with all our hearts to that which
we find to be attractive.  But why is this so much the case?


Let's look back to one of the favorite places to begin.. our old home.. the
garden.  We were beautiful back then.  Ignorant.. but beautiful.. weren't we?
I'll bet a lot of people think Eve was some self-starved beauty who never
ate more than a morsel of food for dinner.. and always kept herself at peek
attractiveness for her husband.  In truth, the words we have been given about
this time speak very little about the shape and size of Eve's body.  The same
is true for Adam.  Nothing states that he was either attractive or
unattractive.  Yet it seems natural to assume that, as first creations of our
species, they would have to have been truly beautiful.

Now.. what is beauty?  I guess that's what this is about.  I hear in my mind
and heart.. what might be occuring at house after house across this nation.
So many girls and boys grow up learning that, at least in their parents'
eyes, they are not beautiful.  Oh they may find out that they are
"good-looking".. or even "handsome" or "pretty".. but when it comes to real
and true "beauty", parents seem to send a mixed sign.  Since so many parents
spend so little time with their kids.. building them up, making them feel
special, it is only natural that the children of these parents develop the
notion that they are not "beautiful" to them.  Often, their hearts cry out..
"Why don't you love me" or "Why aren't you here for me".  Of course, most of
the time, children are too unacquainted with their own hearts to even know
what they are feeling.  Most of the time, they simply act in such a way as to
try and alleviate whatever pain they are feeling.  Kids the world over need
to know they are beautiful... they need to know that they are worthwhile and
that they matter.  Unfortunately, most of the time, they are pushed aside,
dealt with only superficially (if at all), and shuffed off till a tomorrow
that never comes.  These kids wind up often seeking affection in the arms of,
you guessed it, someone outside their family.  This is the solitarily most
important reason behind the kick to have sex so early these days.  And
because of our superficial view of sex in today's society, it becomes ever
the more easy to view beauty as what you see on the outside.  Yet the ironic
thing is, on the inside, everyone is still crying out for someone to love
them as they are.. not because of their physical beauty.. or intellect.. but
because of who they are.. period.

A lot of kids in the world grow up not being super "attractive".  A lot grow
up not super sports-oriented or able to do well at them.  A lot grow up not
being outstandingly good at anything really.. just being what I'll call
"averagejoe" kids.  And in a perfect society, we'd be fine.. cuz everyone
would have their place and nobody would ever want anyone's place but their
own.  But we aren't in a perfect society.  And as a result of all that
happens around them, many of these averagejoe kids have a problem with
self-esteem.  Oh I'm not saying that all of them do.  But many of them do
develop one, simply because of the fact that they want to stand out like so
many others do.  In homes where averagejoes have a brother or sister who
excels way beyond the norm.. it becomes really tough for them, because they
want to have the same sort of spectacularity and attention that their
siblings receive.  They struggle daily with "wanting to be more".. "wanting
to be like so and so".  If you take a look.. you'll see that this all boils
down to feeling "unbeautiful"... because if a person truly considers his or
herself "beautiful".. then he/she will be far less likely to really want to
have such an extreme ability.... the averagejoe would instinctively know that
he/she is wonderful just they way he/she is.

Now.. let's take a look at our most recent news-flash-event.. the colorado
school shooting that took everyone by storm.  One thing that I kept hearing..
though it was downplayed once or twice.. was the notion of ostracism.  The
kids who did the shooting seemed to have taken a lot of abuse from their
fellow classmates.. and just refused to take anymore.  (Note I am not saying
that they were guaranteedly driven to their choice, but that, due to all that
was around them and happened to them, they seemed to think that the only
course of action available to them was to make the people who hurt them pay
-- namely, all those around them who had hurt them -- either through direct
abuse, or refusal to stop the abuse that was occuring to them).  These
children.. took matters into their own hands.. and rather than live with any
more pain from their tormentors, they fought back with the best means they
could think of.

Bill Maher.. this next paragraph is for you.  I listened to your commentary
about teens and high school, and how seemingly piddly high school problems
are.  Perhaps I misunderstood you, but your tone left an odor of "We adults
are better than you teens, so grow up... our problems are much worse.. we're
sick of hearing about you.. sick of dealing with you.. so why don't you just
take a chill pill and realize that high school doesn't matter."  Bill..
apparently you have no idea about what really does matter in life.  Teens
normally need friends to get through adolescence.  And when the friends one
makes tell them that such and such is bad, one tends to listen.  Not everyone
can, on their own, without help, stand up against the mob and say, "I'm
beautiful as I am, and I don't care what you all say."  I remember that my
teen years *were* some of the worst in my life.  I think right now about a
teen friend I met recently.. who says she is called ugly etc. by her family.
Now maybe you were able to grow above this sort of thing, but it is a natural
and God-built-in thing to trust in your family.  It's not so easy to let go
of what they say and do, even when it is harmful.  Rather than being able to
stand up and distance oneself from all the pain they get from their families,
often teens internalize all the pain and think it's all their fault and that
they're worth nothing.  This can also come from peers.  If a person looks to
their peers for support, and doesn't get it, then he/she can become rather
disillusioned as well.  

Now.. for all of you "toughsters" out there.  I am sick and tired of you
people jumping all over us "imperfect weakie whiners" (as you might choose to
call us) because we don't do as well as you did.  You say that we should just
"get over it" or "learn to do better" or "take it".  I do not understand how
you people can be so callous.  Well, that's not exactly true.  I know why you
do it.  (For those of you who are used to being trampled by others, listen to
this one).  Those of you who stomp on others like this often assert your own
ableness and power and say, "I did it.. why can't you?" -- as if needing help
is bad, or wrong.  Unfortunately this also often turns many people away from
asking for the very help they need to get out of their pits of depression,
hatred, pain.. you name it.  Toughsters by nature are those who say that
sometimes you have to be tough on someone.. you have to be uncompassionate,
and just let the blows fly, so that the person will learn that he or she
can't expect compassion.. or needs to grow at this point so much that you
can't wait around and coddle them anymore.  Now, although it is the truth
that coddling does get a lot of kids into trouble.. I think that a
toughster's attitude is at least as damaging.  I think a lot of you out there
look down at people who throw "pity parties", or who run themselves into the
ground with putdowns cuz they've had so many others do it to them.. and
really.. it's because you want to feel good about yourself.  You want to feel
good so you say, "Hey... I did this on my own.. so I'm better than someone
who can't."

This is the real key to a lot of things that happen in the world.  We are
naturally stuck on comparing ourselves to others.. and developing self worth
based upon the merit that comes from that comparison.  Like Rodney
Dangerfield said in Back to School, "If you want to look thin, hang around
with fat people."  This idea thoroughly pervades our society.  We are always
wanting to be more like the people we see on the street.  I can't say that
all of that is wrong though.  I mean.. if you met a loving person, and wanted
to be more like them.. all the more power to your quest *to* be.  But we are
so superficial on this planet that we are all focussed on the nonessentials
-- size of this or that, skin color, hair color, hair length, eye color, nail
color... blech!  I applaud Susan Powter for her statement that "Fat people
can be beautiful, they just can't be healthy."  Being overweight is a tough
thing to deal with.  I have been 50 lbs overweight for a good 2 years or so
and I still haven't gotten rid of the excess -- mostly because I've taken
America's way of "taking it easy" and not doing what is required.  It's so
easy to sit back just let life ride.. rather than work hard.. especially when
everyone and everything around you is meant to entertain you.  This country
is built on entertainment.  Reminds me of when, on Star Trek TNG, Worf's
brother commented on how "comfortable" the Enterprise was.  I'm just betting
the exact reason that was put into the show was to criticize America's
relishment of comfort at every turn.

But as I was saying... I find it very dreadful to see every day that most
everyone enjoys looking down their nose at someone in order to establish
their own self worth.  This is something I wish we could just put a stop to
-- as it would end so much hostility between mankind in general.  However,
because we all seem to disagree on what is truly beautiful and what truly
gives self worth, this is guaranteed to continue for a good while yet.  The
thing is.. do you want to be a part of it any longer?  I mean.. do you want
to enjoy looking down your nose at others to make yourself feel better?

I'll assume no.. and continue.  If you do.. I don't know what good it will do
you to read on.  But if you do want to read on... feel free.  

Jesus wanted us to get a good idea of who we really were... but so many
people misinterpret Jesus' words and misuse them that nobody really has any
idea where to turn or who to listen to.  I hope that you can find some
strength in what I'm about to tell you.  It's taken awhile to get my hands
on.. but it does make sense.

In truth, there are two things that make us "worthwhile" to God.  One of them
we have nothing we can do about.. the other, we have everything to do with.  

The first, the one we can't touch.. is what I call "intrinsic worth".  This
is what a lot of preachers are referring to when they say, "God loves
everybody equally."  The fact is, in God's eyes, no man is truly above any
other man.  God does not give undue favor upon anyone.. undue or unfair.  God
is perfectly just and perfectly loving.. and He who made you loves you just
as you are.  Nobody can take that fact away.  No matter how hard they try..
they cannot stop God from loving you.  And His love is genuine.  It's not the
love that loves you only if you wash behind your ears.. or only if you kowtow
at every single word He says.  He knows we aren't perfect.. and even when we
disobey, He loves us anyway.  He cares enough to keep drawing us to Him..
especially when we turn away for a moment to enjoy something we shouldn't
have.. or when we run away for a season or two.  He even runs after us..
calling our names so that we'll turn and come back to Him.. and let Him carry
us home.

The second one, however, is one we can touch.  For although we are all
beautiful in God's eyes.. yes.. not just worthwhile.. but BEAUTIFUL.. we are
not necessarily in a position where God is willing to grant us all of His
favor.

Ok.. before I go further.. let me do a little defining to set the stage.
Grace.. unmerited favor.. is what we get when we go to God and accept Jesus
into our lives as Boss.  Grace is what gets us into God's throne room so we
can come at any time.. asking for whatever we need.  Grace is something we
cannot earn.. but it is something we *can* go beyond... though it takes an
awful lot of effort.. and I mean a lot.

Favor.. on the other hand.. is not necessarily unmerited.  God gave many
people in the Old Testament times "favor" because they walked in His ways..
because they did as He told them to.. because they listened to what He told
them and obeyed.  And.. as well.. when people chose not to listen to Him,
they may have enjoyed worldly riches, fame, or what have you for a season,
but it was always a stiff guarantee.. that eventually.. His wrath would come
upon them... showing them and those around them that they were foolish not to
listen.

You see.. unbeknownst to many people.. even though the Bible seems to say
that the road to Heaven is one you cannot leave.. it doesn't.  The Bible,
when read correctly, never states that once you enter the way of life that
you shall never have the ability to leave.  What it does state.. is that
there are a chosen number of people.. chosen from the beginning of time..
that will, by their own obedient hearts, remain on the way of life.. remain
following Jesus until their death or His return.  And it is *THESE* ones who
shall be saved on Judgement day.

A lot of people don't like what I just said.  Perhaps you're one of them.
Perhaps one reason you don't like it is because you want to be secure in your
faith and know that you are guaranteed Heaven.  Well.. let me talk a little
about what is truly "guaranteed."

This is a puzzle I don't think I'll ever figure out.  Somehow.. God allows us
all to make our own decisions.. and yet, He also knows just what those
decisions are going to be.  He works with us to get us to make the best
decisions.. but in the end, it always comes down to our own choices.  And it
is this fact that will determine where we end up when we stand before Christ.
The whole notion of being "chosen" or "not chosen" can be a very dangerous
one to play with.  Because if you think you are chosen, you can easily start
seeing yourself as one of God's "elite" and view yourself above those who are
"not chosen".. whereas if you see yourself as "not chosen".. you view
yourself above the "chosen ones" who view themselves above you and treat you
so hideously.  In truth.. Jesus told us not to worry about the future.. but
to focus on today.. living the truth today, rather than being so focussed on
tomorrow that we don't do what we need to in this hour.  Those who are truly
"chosen".. only God knows.  In the end.. the "chosen ones" will *BE* the ones
who do choose to follow Christ till the end.. even getting martyred for their
faith.  As the Bible says, (nearquote) "loving not their lives, even unto
death".

Ok.. back to where I was going.  True love.

God cares for every one reading this.. and everyone who has never read
this.. (with the exception of any demons or satanic spirits of any sort) with
a depth of love none of us can ever measure.  He wants us all to learn from
His love.. and learn how to truly live.. and how to truly be a "loving"
person ourselves.  Unfortunately, because of the fact that we are all born
His enemies.. (tough to believe I know.. but if you take a look at your life
long enough.. you might agree)... we are all running away from what it truly
means to 'love one another'.  Oh yes, in truth, nobody is so completely
selfish that they do nothing for anyone else en total.. but in fact, nobody
who has walked this planet.. save Jesus, Himself, has ever loved anyone or
anything perfectly.  I somehow don't even think Adam had a perfect love.  No
matter who you try and lift up as a "loving person".. you can find areas of
his/her life where he/she needs definite work on giving more mercy.. or
patience.. or kindness.. or other such attributes of true love.  Not one of
us is perfect... thus all of us need to work on being better.  But even
though we need to be better.. God loves us all very very much.
However.....
Even though God loves us deeply in one way.. He is also very much evaluating
how we live our lives.  No.. He's not about to throw us away for not crossing
a few t's or dotting a few i's.. but He does take a careful moral inventory
of our lives.  
Ok.. for those of you who think we don't need to worry about this.. please..
read Romans 11.. and tell me what 'fear' means.
For those of you who don't have a Bible.. I'll recount the passage.
Paul is writing to the Romans and talking about the Jews.  He uses the well
known analogy of Jesus' family as a "vine".. and his brothers and sisters as
"branches".  In Romans 11, Paul makes a very strong statement.. telling us
that the Jews.. the natural branches of the tree.. can be grafted back in if
they choose to believe in Christ as they should.  But.. Paul also tells us to
"fear.. for He who spared not the natural branches, may also not spare you."
This passage seems very clear to me.  When Paul says "fear" he doesn't mean
"be afraid because God is a taskmaster who may at any moment uproot you from
Jesus' perfect garden".. but what he is saying is more along the lines of,
"Consider your life well.. and how you live it.. for the One who chose to
remove the Jews from the tree of life can also decide to do the same to you."
See.. as I said earlier.. our choices are what determine or destiny.  If we
make a continuous.. every day.. (although imperfect).. decision to follow
Christ.. and that means working hard to truly do as He wants.. then we have
nothing to worry about.  But if we become lackadaisical.. and refuse to live
as we ought.. if we choose to grow weary of waiting for Jesus' return so much
that we turn from our new ways of serving Him and again embrace our old ways,
then we need to be very aware that He has every right to remove us from the
tree, just as He did the Jews in times' past for their own disobedience.

All of you who read this.. I guess I have one thing I really want to tell
you... but I don't want to trivialize it.. like many people on so called
"Christian" TV and Radio stations do.  Neither do I want to come plunging
down your throat with every rule in the rulebook about do's and dont's in
God's kingdom.  What I do want you all to know is this:

  God wants us all to know real love.  He hates a lot of what we go through
  on this planet.  He hates all the garbage we deal with.. and He wants us to
  get through it rather than let it win.  God has a plan for each one of us
  that goes beyond our own ability to imagine.  He wants us to experience
  peace, joy, pleasure, and wonder beyond what we could ever hope to come to
  with our own strengths.  But because the way to this new life He gives is a
  tough one, many people simply and lazily don't want to choose it.  They
  want their own way rather than His.  They want things too easy.. and want
  to assert their own version of "righteousness" over His.  Many in today's
  world say, "God doesn't exist" or "if God does exist.. He can't be like the
  Bible says He is."  Unfortunately, a lot of this comes from the bad press
  many people who claimed to follow Him have brought upon His name.  But a
  bunch also comes from the simple fact that God is calling us to grow beyond
  ourselves, and become something new.. and better than we are right now.  He
  treasures us as we are, but He doesn't want us to stay just as we are.  He
  wants to make us into something far more beautiful than we already are...
  and that is not bad.. that is simply growth.

  Along the path of life are many who will confuse you.  All too often we
  find that the ones who confuse us the most are the ones who aren't supposed
  to -- our families.  The ones who are supposed to love us the most really
  don't do much of a good job, and we get a fractured view of what real love
  should be.  Don't let people who hurt you on the path of life dissuade you
  from finding what matters most.  Don't let those who kick you and throw
  stones prove that you're wrong.  Let God prove to them just how beautiful
  you really are.

Well anyway... I dunno how connected this is.. but if you have any
questions.. feel free to write me.  My email is on the main page near the
bottom.  I care.. and I want to help.  I hate seeing people overwhelmed by
the pain that society injects into their lives.  If there's any way I can
help.. please.. let me try?  Thanx.. :)

-- crysaliq